Self-regulation requires, first and foremost, self-awareness. Trying to bring ourselves into balance when we can’t see ourselves clearly is like trying to drive while wearing the wrong prescription lenses.
There are lots of great tools to help you develop your “inner observer,” the part of you that’s observing what’s happening inside you without making up a story about it. Meditation is an excellent way to do this. You can also place sticky notes around your home or office to remind you to regularly pause, look inside, and notice what you’re thinking and feeling.